TLeaf Readings: Writing with Iceberg in Tow

Chant: Agnus Dei

2009-11-16T23:56:00.000-08:00

So singing chant is different from most choral kinds of singing, though both do require a straight tone voice vs. one full of wobbly vibrato. Instead of a regular meter featured in most classical music, chant is more free flowing and there is no strict rhythm. It's kind of scary to have so much freedom, to make music without a safety net of square rules, and when I first attempt singing chant by myself, I feel like a classically trained pianist trying to improvise jazz. Except there's sheet music for chant. Don't get me started on the sheet music. Instead of nice normal round notes with reassuring stems and slur lines, the written chant features clusters of little boxes and rectangles that smudge-smear across the staff lines in such a way that it seems I would have to sing two different pitches at the same time, which is not possible. I feel like I'm reading Greek (but not Chinese...I actually know a little Chinese).

But with a little coaching and lots of practice, performing chant can be fun. I'm singing outside of the rules and having a blast.

Want to hear me chant? Check out my choir concerts at http://www.pwchorus.org/concerts.html, and if you buy a ticket in advance, let me know!

Found: Swim suits

2009-11-15T20:57:00.001-08:00

Both black and acquired for about $20 each. The first was ordered off the internet (always a risk with clothes) and I've never used it, but wow it fits perfectly. The second was bought on a whim at Costco in San Diego. The pool is private, the perfect temperature, and in the middle of the night, you can see your shadow on the bottom of the pool as you swim, and when you float on your back, you can see the stars.

Falling Back

2009-11-02T11:08:00.001-08:00

Daylight Savings has always been a difficult transition for me, but because of World Fantasy, I believe I am now acclimated to falling back. Except for how I judge the time when the sunsets.

World Conventions

2009-10-31T03:30:00.001-07:00

Going to Worldcon earlier this year prepared me a little for World Fantasy. So I thought. Intense intense intense. I need to take care of myself more b/c I know more people here. More later.

I Have a Ridiculous Blog Backlog

2009-10-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

Because I've been focused on my living my life rather than writing about it. But the backlog is beckoning.

Found: Bits of Red Cloth Belonging Elsewhere

2009-09-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

Acquired: Chennai, India
Worn: Never
A swath of burgundy silk about three feet long and one and half feet wide, one end embroidered with gold thread in an intricate heart, paisley and pillar design. The other ends are frayed and must be finished.
Belongs: London, United Kingdom

Acquired: San Jose, California
Worn: Once in Orlando, Florida
Two straps, apple colored, each one and a half foot long. Each end has a black medal hook sewn between two plastic snaps that barely held up a strapless dress which nevertheless had revealed an unslightly V-neck sunburn.
Belongs: Bridesmaid Dress Retirement Purgatory

Acquired: Can't Remember
Worn: Multiple Gigs Up and Down the San Francisco Peninsula
A sleeveless silk shirt paired with a vintage 1940s black suit, worn in performance for World War II veterans and others of their generation.
Belongs: Elsewhere

Congrats Mary Anne on Her New Baby!

2009-09-26T11:35:00.000-07:00

My Clarion instructor Mary Anne Mohanraj has given birth to her second child and has posted pics up of her very cute new baby Anandan.

Found: Blue Make Up

2009-09-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

Four shades of blue eyeshadow bought for an 80s party with light blue eyeliner. Also in the box: blue metallic eyelashes, blue lipstick, blue face glitter for my costume once upon a Halloween. No, I was not a Smurf, but the Blue Fairy, not Andrew Lang's collection, but the character who turned Pinnochio into a real boy. I wore a blue puffy dress with matching heels, blue butterfly wings made from real feathers, and white and blue rhinestone jewelry out sparkling my wand made from a toy baton, a bent wire hanger, and layers of aluminum foil. Besides the wand, thrown out long ago, the tiny tiara with a clear drop of jewel is still lost.

A Jar Full of G.I. Joes

2009-09-24T15:20:00.000-07:00

While on a lunch walk, one of my best friends and I discovered a fabulous place in Redwood City called Curious Things. What drew us in was the display next to the door featuring a blood red, black horned two-foot tall figurine of the demon from the movie Legend, the one starring a very Puckish-like Tom Cruise.

As we entered this toy shop, all the walls on one side were filled with Hot Wheels, and as we wandered from tiny toy-covered room to tiny toy-covered room, we were brought back to our childhood. They had a Transformers room with an actual giant Constructicon, lime green and only slightly used, in a glass display case right next to a rather well-loved Soundwave and a partially transformed Dinobot, the Stegasaurous, whose name I have forgotten.

Not all the glass covered displays were so neatly organized. My favorite was perhaps a glass cookie jar half full (or half empty) with an assortment of G.I. Joes.

The Star Wars toys were right next to the Transformers, and they had three different tie fighters, and on one wall only, three different versions of Princess Leia--Leia from the end of Episode IV holding a medal (that is alas not for Chewie), another Leia from Episode IV in the white robe and cinnamon buns hair style (she was paired with a mini R2D2), and finally Ewok Lei with her hair all down and dressed all in green like Robin Hood (partnered with one of the Ewoks, Wicket, I think).

The comic book themed room had one wall completely dedicated to Marvel characters that came with their own comic books. Some of these were truly vintage, ranging from Silver Surfer at $30 to Black Cat costing $55 to Red Skull, the most expensive, at $75. I was especially amused to see two versions of Phoenix (aka Jean Grey in the movies) and startled to find that the Red Phoenix ($60) with white blank eyes was twice as much as the Green Phoenix ($30) with painted in eyes. In the corner of the Marvel room lived more modern characters from the worlds of Spawn and Harry Potter.

There were other rooms, but lunch hour did not allow for more exploration. I shall definitely return!

My Clarion Class Rocks

2009-09-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

When I began my MFA program two years ago, I was told by one of my professors not to worry about selling to markets but to focus on craft of writing. So I did. I wrote and critiqued and taught and critiqued, just like a good student should. And I attended the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Workshop in San Diego during my '08 summer break and met all these amazing writers who were not only amazingly talented, they were very serious about selling to the science fiction and fantasy markets. Over a year after my Clarion class has disbanded, there's too much good news that I can hardly keep up with it. One of my Clarion classmates Sarah has collected a nice long list.

My Prose Has Mutated into Poetry

2009-09-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been writing short little things that begin as prose and somehow morph into poems, and they are stronger for the transformation. Line breaks allow phrases to breathe, and repetition of sentence structure and internal rhymes that were hidden in the density of prose are now illuminated in stacked stanzas.

I am slightly bemused because before this summer when I wrote something, I always knew with certainty whether it is either prose or poetry. I suppose it can be both.

Found: Berol Fontaine, My First Fountain Pen

2009-09-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

The body is made of blue-green plastic, and the cap used to be clear. Now stained green, the posted cap comes off with a decisive pop and closes around the nib with a whisper of a click. The ink that ran from the grey nib was a bright green in the same color family as the body, marked in white lettering: "Berol fontaine."

For months, this was my favorite writing pen, and I wrote pages swimming in bright green sentences that blinded the eye. When the ink ran out, I did not want to throw it away, but carefully put it away in a safe place, so safe that I had forgotten it. Until now. And though I now own several fountain pens instead of just this one, I have an urge to refill it and try it out. Too bad it's disposable. And dried out. And no longer manufactured.

"Alpha Male" No Longer Applies to Wolves

2009-09-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

The awesome and always entertaining Keffy shared several links with me, and this is literally the most tame.

Found: Binder Full of My Old Stories

2009-09-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

Granted, it's a very small binder, but brimming with fiction written during my undergrad creative writing classes. This was a time when I thought five manuscript pages was a perfectly acceptable length for a fully fleshed out story. This was a time when writing ten pages felt like I was half-way through a novel. I read stories I had forgotten I had written, the newbie fiction that was slightly (or mostly) autobiographical. And while I cringed quite a bit at my old prose and execution of one-dimensional ideas, there's still something in each story that pulls in my interest, however faint.

Though most of the titles of my old stories are quite easy to discard, I would someday like to use one title that never had a full story attached to it: "The Lost Mango."

Nano-ode to Ice!

2009-09-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ice, how I love thee,
on sweltering summer days!

you clink into glass
from plastic tray, chill my drink
while melting away.

Found: Tip for Ink Syringe

2009-09-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

The ink supply in each of my fountain pens has been dangerously low because I had somehow misplaced not my ink syringe, but the tip, which twists off and can be soaked on its own. I tried refilling the cartridges without the blunt needle, with splattery and ineffectual results. Finally, after fifteen minutes of digging through my ink drawer, I have a completely functional ink syringe. Now, instead of ink all over my fingers, color fills my pens, all primed and ready to write.

Found: BART card

2009-09-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

The Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) is one of several public transportation systems whose quirks I experienced while I was a grad student. I always had at least one or two BART cards in my wallet, and now I've discovered another one, loaded with over $10. Thankfully they don't expire!

I'm Not Buying Any More Stamps

2009-09-02T20:06:00.000-07:00

At least, not for a while. Recently, I started a sort-through-everything-I-own and purge-as-much-as-possible project. And among my papers, I discovered a wealth of stamps, sheets of stamps with perhaps one or two stamps missing, several sheets perfectly intact--Lunar New Year, a bouquet of flowers, one-cent, two-cent, three-cent, luscious sliced fruits, pixilated Christmas icons, two versions of Lady Liberty, portraits painted by Mary Cassat, Star Wars anniversary, classic Disney characters, and cracked liberty bells of Forever Stamps--all tucked between manuscript pages, pages of half-read published books, music I had forgotten I owned, directions to parties and events I barely remember attending, and now-incomprehensible notes to myself. Perhaps in those notes, I was telling myself I have enough stamps. Time to use them.

Singing Vowels within Vowels

2009-09-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

When singing in a group, achieving the right blend of voices is key. I used to think that blending with another's voice was a matter of nature vs. nurture, that blend was something you either had with a person, or not. But apparently, vocal blend has more to do with matching vowels than some amorphous unknown mystical component that attracts and matches your voice quality with another's. But matching vowels is more difficult than it sounds, because it must be a perfect match. In my choir, there's one movement of perhaps my favorite piece for this concert in which we sing a lot on "eh." Most Americans tend to lateralize or widen the "eh" sound, and once we were told to focus and lengthen the "eh" by thinking "ee" (which is a narrower vowel), I could hear the blend snap into place. Yes, this little musical factoid brings me much joy.

The Smell of Air Before It Rains

2009-09-13T21:30:00.000-07:00

This summer, whenever I traveled out of state, the rain followed me...monsoons in Florida and light torrents in Montreal. But California, northern and southern, stayed extremely dry. Now that fall approaches, the air has grown heavy with molecules of moisture tickling the nose with trapped scents of shoveled earth and growing green, scents that promise a blossoming, or burst, into a steady shower.

I Like Tea

2009-09-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

There is something quite calming about making a cup of tea. Perhaps it is the ritualistic movements--filling the tea kettle, sorting through my collection of tins and bags, wondering what tea matches my mood or caffine requirements (right now, it's English Breakfast), and then making sure everything is properly assembled right before the kettle's whistle sounds: Turn me off!

Writing Around Myself

2009-09-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

An idea for a story hijacked me a while ago when I was supposed to be doing something else. Now that I have finished a very early incoherent discovery draft of this story, I'm happy to move on and focus on my main projects. But. Someone pointed out that perhaps I was writing this story to deal with my issues about my main project. And. While I have several projects in the works, this person was right, perhaps not so directly as intended, but right nevertheless. Even though I wrote this hijacking story thinking about other people as the protagonists, ultimately, another writer observed, my story ends up somewhat autobiographical, as all stories tend to be.

I Covet This Room

2009-09-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

All the walls, are covered in books, floor to ceiling, corner to corner, with just a sliver of wall space in the middle to prove that there is something solid behind that vast quantity of reading. Even the comfy brown reading chair contains three tall stacks of books.

This room belongs to one of my Clarion instructors, and I totally envy his awesome collection. Apparently it is one of his libraries.
Pics are here.

I have heard he also has another library comparable to the one shown in Disney's Beauty and the Beast, which is my dream library, complete with ladder on wheels.

Unspoken Questions While Dancing

2009-09-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

I've started social dancing again, and I've forgotten how awesomely fun it can be, even dancing with strangers. Usually I chatter with my friends while social dancing, emphasizing the social. But if I don't know the lead, I will usually stop talking because I will be more focused in my attempts to interpret his lead: Did he want me to spin or slide? Did he want me to lean left or right? Will he give me space to improvise during music breaks? Can I take an extra twirl or will he stop me prematurely? Is he paying attention to my reactions or is this dance all about him? Following looks easy, but really it is hard work!

If I Ever Take a Long Break from Singing Again

2009-09-01T18:21:00.001-07:00

Here are some notes to my future self: Breathe. Don't forget your water bottle, and bring the 32 oz one, else there is the need to refill at the water fountain where the water tastes tepid and seasoned with metals. Breathe, expand from the diaphragm. Don't forget your pencil, so you can mark your music when the conductor says, so you can make notes for yourself on what the conductor says, so you can doodle an illustration or poem that pops in your head. Breathe, deeply whenever possible. Don't forget to sit up straight, to align the body, to support the breath, to support the sound. Breathe. Don't forget that singing new music for three hours is an intense mental and physical activity, even if it's easy, straight forward music. In the end, you will be wiped, so exhausted, and strangely high after rehearsal, so high that you will want, no, be compelled, to talk and chatter and chatter and talk until there are no words left, only sounds of your spirit, uncensored and unleashed, spilling from your tongue. You are not losing your mind, rather you are renewing a part of your soul.